Dubious Heroes: a novel Read online

  “Friends of yours?”

  “Definitely not”, she said.

  “Do you know if your grandfather was maybe part of the United Planets Defense Force at some time?”

  “Also definitely not”, she said. “He didn’t have a very high opinion of the UP or the UPDF.”

  “How do you know?”

  “He told me so. One of those little gems of wisdom he left me with. He said, “The UP are a bunch of jackbooted motherfuckers.”

  “In those words?” I asked.

  “I those exact words.”

  “Interesting guy”, I said.

  “And then some”, she said, dropping her feet from the console and sitting up. “Enough chit chat, we can talk more later. You need to go see the port authority people. They’d like some money, and it’s a good idea to see that they get it. It’s also a good idea to make sure the ship is fueled and stocked as soon as we hit port. You never know when you might need to leave in a hurry. Once Eng sets up the watch list, we’ll both go out, and see if we can make some progress.”

  “Progress toward what?”

  “Turning you into a hammer.”

  I wandered around New London for the next couple of days, sometimes with Cozi or Lola, and sometimes alone. As colonies went, it was a fairly big place, with around two hundred thousand permanent residents, and dozens of ships in port at any given time. There were a lot of bars and restaurants, and even some touristy stuff, though most everything was aimed at the spacer market. Still, when you got right down to it, it was a lot like Phobos, or Io, or even Luna.

  While I wasn’t exactly bored, something was bothering me, and it took a while for me to figure it out. People I liked and respected not only felt I needed to change, but were actually going about it like I was their pet project. This was, in a word, annoying. Sure, I still had a lot to learn, and I accepted that. But a part of me rebelled at the idea that I’d ever be anyone else than the same old Doon who’d left Luna months before.

  I’d just done a six hour watch, where Eng had me going over available cargo runs. Hauling a load of ore from New London back to Mars might seem like the height of excitement to some people, but I suspected it would be boring as hell.

  I found a spacer dive Cozi and I had visited earlier, and took a seat at the bar. I had a few drinks, while I watched the news on a vidscreen. It seemed as though a virus had hit quite a few AIs, and had spread all over. I guessed it was being spread via SpeedLink. Viruses and worms weren’t that common anymore; usually the AIs themselves could put a lid on any outbreak very quickly. This one was something new, and according to a UP spokesperson, was affecting operations all over the place. I made a mental note to make sure Angie was okay.

  I was half eavesdropping on the quiet conversations around me, when I overheard two spacers fervently arguing about a cargo run. I couldn’t imagine anyone getting that bent out of shape about something so mundane, but it was phrase water run that stuck out. One wanted to give it a shot, and said they could make an incredible amount of money with it, and the other one wanted no part of it, period. I was due to meet Kyra for dinner at a restaurant a few doors down, so I never heard who won the argument.

  I entered the cafe to find Kyra already seated at a corner table. I slid into the chair opposite her, and we ordered dinner and drinks. She was back in her skin tight black outfit again, and every pair of eyes in the room, male and female, seemed magnetically drawn to her.

  I was beginning to suspect that everything anyone did with me was yet another session in my continuing education, disguised as a social occasion. I wasn’t in much of a mood to play along, even if the teacher was stunningly beautiful. Then again, I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t exactly getting up and fleeing the place, either.

  We were well into dinner before curiosity finally got the better of me, and I asked the question I knew she wouldn’t want to answer.

  “Kyra”, I said, “What’s a water run?”

  “Something we don’t want to be involved in”, she said, and took a bite of her meal; some sort of meat and noodle dish, if it matters.

  “I suspect it’s some sort of local cargo run hauling water”, I said, “And since the only water around is on yon planet, I suspect it involves going there. What I don’t understand is why that would be in the least bit risky. I’d imagine there are ships carrying water landing here daily.”

  “That’s not exactly what a water run is”, she said.

  “If you don’t tell me, I’ll just find someone who will.”

  “Fine”, she said, sighing. “Yes, water is hauled up from the planet on a regular basis. Ships contract to do it. Since Tzing and the UP aren’t very happy with New London, they’re charging a whopping three credits a gallon for the stuff. Bear in mind, the planet below is sixty percent water, and still only has a few million people, so it’s not like there’s a shortage of the stuff.”

  “I think I get it, now”, I said. “What’s to stop someone in a ship dropping to the planet, loading up with water, and taking off again?”

  “The United Planets Defense Force”, she said. “That’s why it’s risky, and that’s why I’m not going to discuss it further. If you can find someone else to talk about it, then knock yourself out.”

  “I was just curious”, I said. “We just have to do something to make some money, and I thought it might be another… possibility. After all, we’re here, and it’s local; something we could do without leaving the system.”

  “It’s not so much that it’s not doable”, she said, “As it is that you’re not ready for something so, well, intense. Get a few of the ordinary cargo runs under your belt first. Then we can talk about some of the other options out there.”

  “Learn to crawl before we walk”, I said.

  “Something like that”, she said. “It might be a cliché, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t right.”

  I agreed with her, and we finished our meals in silence, except for brief bits of polite small talk. As we walked back to the Enigma, I reflected that while that old cliché might be true, I’d bet she’d never heard it from her grandfather.

  Back aboard, I relieved Eng on the Bridge, taking over the last few hours of his shift. Once I had the place to myself, I got to work.

  “Angie”, I said. “Call up everything you can find on the subject of water runs, and put it on my console.”

  “Done”, she said. “There isn’t much.”

  I looked at the data, and saw she wasn’t kidding. Mostly, the only thing on the net was a New London directive, advising all cargo carriers to knock it off, or else. Apparently, the raids on the planet were causing a little more friction with the UP than the government of New London was comfortable with, so they’d banned them, at least officially. It also explained the lack of info on the subject out on the net. Someone was doing a little censoring.

  “Did you search via SpeedLink?” I asked her.

  “I did”, she said. “What you have is all there is. By the way, I’m talking to the port authority AI right now. His name is Owen. He’d like to meet you, if you don’t mind.”

  “No problem”, I said. “You’re aware of this virus thing, aren’t you? It seems to be raising hell with a lot of AIs.”

  “I’m fine”, she said. “Don’t worry about it. Shall I patch Owen in?”

  “Alright”, I said. “Do it.”

  “Aye, Captain. He’s patched.”

  “Owen? This is Orel Doon.”

  “Captain Doon”, a male voice said. Even the AIs on New London had affected the British accent. “I’m deeply honored to meet you, Sir.”

  “Likewise”, I said. He had to be the most polite AI I’d ever met. “The pleasure is mine.”

  “We’re all very glad you chose to visit New London. If you need anything while you’re here, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll let you get back to your business. Thanks for taking the time to speak with me.”

  “It was nice to meet you, too”, I said. “Doon out.” />
  “Owen out.”

  “He’s gone, right?”

  “Yes Sir”, she said.

  “That was kinda weird”, I said. “It was like he thought I was some sort of celebrity or something.”

  “Owen is a good friend”, she said. “He knows what you did for me, getting me away from the Ming Shu. He was just showing his appreciation.”

  “Oh. Well, keep looking for info. Also, pull up anything you can find on the planet itself. File it for my eyes only.”

  “Aye, Sir.”

  “And what’s with the sir stuff all of a sudden?”

  “First Officer Eng said I should address you more formally, especially when there are other crew members present.”

  “Figures”, I said, and sighed. “I guess there are worse things. But it really isn’t necessary when it’s just us. Makes me think you might be pissed off at me.”

  “Of course I’m not”, she said. “Although I do worry about you.”

  AIs aren’t designed to worry; they aren’t designed to have feelings at all, but that doesn’t mean much in practice. AIs are self-replicating, meaning that once they’re sentient, they write and modify their own code. Nothing will drive home the point that AIs are not human faster than spending an hour wading through some code they’ve written.

  “You’re not the only one worrying about me”, I said. “You guys should start a club or something. Out of curiosity, how much water can this ship carry?”

  “Outfitted with proper containers, about fifty thousand gallons”, she said.

  “That’s it?” I said. “I’d think we could cram a lot more than that into those huge cargo bays.”

  “It’s not the size, but the weight that limits us”, she said. “Assuming a one gee gravity well, we’re limited to a two hundred ton load, which is about how much fifty thousand gallons of water weights in that much gravity. Capacity-wise, we could fit five times that amount into the cargo holds. But we’d never even get off the ground with that kind of load.”

  “Is there any way to boost our engine thrust?”

  “That would involve modifying the hydrogen ramjet engines, which are used for atmospheric flight. Given the age of these engines, a simple refit ought to deliver at least a ten percent increase in performance.”

  “That’s another twenty tons of lift capacity”, I said. “How much do you think that would cost?”

  “I’d have to check with the port authority”, she said. “Would you like me to do that?”

  “Yeah”, I said. “And while you’re talking to them, see how much tweaking our ion pulse drive would cost. I’d bet it could be boosted as well. And don’t forget that info on the planet. I have some errands to run, and I’ll need that stuff when I get back.”

  “Aye, Captain”, she said, as I left the Bridge.

  I found Lola down in my quarters (or, more accurately, our quarters). I wasn’t unhappy, per se, with the arrangement, but it did seem to be more permanent than I had anticipated. It was still possible it would end badly, but I hoped it wouldn’t, since I really did like her. I caught her coming out of the head, naked as the proverbial jaybird, carrying a clean jumpsuit.

  “I thought you were up on the Bridge”, she said, as she walked over, almost floating in the low gravity, and put her arms around my neck.

  “I came down to see if you could cover for me for a little while”, I said. “I need to run a couple of errands off ship.”

  She kissed me, and I realized my hands were full of warm, soft female.

  “I’m sensing a change in plans”, she purred, nibbling on an earlobe.

  As usual, she was right.

  Sometime later, I did manage to leave the Enigma, a spring in my step, sticky shoes notwithstanding. Nothing brightens your outlook on life like getting laid. I walked from the dock area, and pulled my Pod from a thigh pocket. Sticking the earpiece in my ear, I punched up the local comm system.

  “Port authority AI”, I requested, and the system connected me.

  “This is Owen”, the AI said. “How may I help you?”

  “This is Doon”, I said. “I need a local contact, Owen. Someone who’d know something about water runs, specifically. Know anyone like that?”

  “That’s an activity which is proscribed by the New London Directorate”, he said. “It’s also something I’d personally advise against.”

  “Yeah, you and everyone else”, I said. “If you don’t know anyone, or you’d rather not get involved, just say so.”

  “Can you give me a few minutes?” he asked. “I’ll have to call you back.”

  “Sure. I’ll just be wandering around”, I said. We clicked off, and that’s exactly what I did for the next half hour. I was thinking about getting a drink someplace, when my Pod beeped. It was Owen.

  “Go to the Neutrino Casino”, he said. “Someone there will help you.”

  “Thanks”, I said. “I owe you one.”

  “I hardly think so”, he said. “If you need anything else, please let me know.”

  “I’ll do that”, I said. “Later.”

  I found the Neutrino Casino a short distance from where I’d been, and walked in. I was wearing my shades, which for once, proved useful. They should have had a warning sign up; the flashing lights and holos were as blinding and obnoxious as any I’d ever seen. The place could probably cause seizures. I picked up a drink at the bar, and was watching a poker game, when I felt someone standing by my elbow. I looked around, and found one of the casino hostesses, a pretty blonde, standing next to me. She smiled at me, and I smiled back, and returned my attention to the game. Hostesses made their living by hanging out with casino players, who would, in turn, tip them. Most of them could also provide more extensive services, but those cost a helluva lot more than a tip.

  I sensed her lean in next to me. I liked her perfume.

  “Captain Doon”, she whispered into my ear. Not exactly what I’d been expecting. Surveillance must have been better than Kyra knew, which was not a comforting thought.

  “Yes?” I said, wishing I’d stashed at least a knife on me.

  “There’s someone who’d like to talk to you”, she said. “Privately.”

  “Lead the way”, I said. If someone was screwing with me at this point, there wasn’t much I could do about it. We crossed the main floor of the casino, and went into one of the small, private salons. We entered the plush room, leaving the lights and noise of the main casino behind. A small man sat at a table, his back to the wall. I removed the shades, so I could see better.

  “You Doon?” he asked.

  “I am”, I said. “And you?”

  “Vostock”, he said. “I dunno who you know, but they carry some weight. That said, if you fuck around with me, you won’t leave this room alive. If you’re not okay with that, leave now.”

  I walked over and sat down across the table from him. He didn’t seem half my size, but what he lacked in stature he made up in sheer intensity. His hair was a shiny black, long and straight, hanging past his shoulders. His beard and eyebrows were equally dark on his narrow face. Dark eyes studied me, just as I was doing to him.

  “Just so you know”, he said, “This room is shielded. If you’re expecting an important call, you won’t get it.”

  “Thanks”, I said. “I’m guessing you must be the guy to see about water runs.”

  “You want me to make a water run?” he asked. “No thanks. We’re not in that business anymore.”

  “Actually, I’m the one who’s interested in making a run”, I said. “I was just looking for someone who could fill me in on some of the details.”

  “Why?” he asked. “Do you have some sort of death wish?”

  “No”, I said. “I’d prefer to live through the experience.”

  “Odds are, you won’t”, he said. “If the UPDF ships don’t get you, the planet will.”

  “Just the same”, I said, and shrugged. “Talk me out of it.”

  He looked at me silently for a momen
t, took a drink, and continued.

  “How much can you carry?”

  “Fifty thousand gallons”, I said, “Maybe a bit more.”

  “That’s hardly worth the risk”, he said.

  “I need the money”, I said.

  “No one needs the money that bad”, he said. “Maybe you like the idea of doing it, more than the money, da?”

  “There’s that”, I said, “But if you’re going to have an adventure, it ought to pay well.”

  “Oh, it would be an adventure”, he said, and grinned evilly. “I doubt I can talk you out of it, but I’ll try. What sort of defenses and countermeasures does your ship have?”

  “None, at this point.”

  “Okay”, he said, “I suggest you spend the money and buy some, or you’ll never even reach the surface. The UPDF is using atmosphere ships, sitting up in a low planetary orbit. They have every sort of detection system you can think of, and probably a few we’ve never even heard of. These craft are fast, agile, and armed with missiles that use a variety of tracking systems. If you can’t at least jam them for part of the descent, they’ll get you.”

  “Say we do add some defenses to the ship”, I said.

  “Then you might stand a chance. There are only four of the interceptors around the planet. While they’re pretty fast, if you plan your drop just right, you’ll blow right by them. By the time they get anywhere near you, you’ll have dropped below the cloud deck, and they won’t pursue anyone that low.”

  “What if there’s no cloud deck? I asked.

  “Then you don’t drop. Without cover from the clouds, they’ll see where you landed, and they’ll just blow you out of the sky when you lift off, before you can build up any speed. Your jammers should keep them from finding you that way, but they still have eyes. Also, if it’s not too far out of their way, you might see some of the Tzing security services show up. Closest thing they have to an army. Either way, not the outcome you’re looking for.”

  “Okay, say we can make it by the UP ships coming and going. You mentioned something about the planet?”

  “Didn’t you do any research?”