Dubious Heroes: a novel Read online

  “Why?” I asked, as I studied the board. “You gonna ditch us when we get there?”

  “Maybe”, she said, and smiled. I noticed, not for the first time, that she had a light dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks. “Do you want me to stay on?”

  I knew the answer she was looking for, and it didn’t have anything to do with her being part of the crew. I didn’t want to tell her no, but I wasn’t ready to tell her yes, either.

  “Maybe”, I said, smiling. “You aren’t paying attention.” I took her pawn with my bishop.

  “Neither are you”, she said, as she captured my bishop with her knight.

  “Ouch”, I said. “Anyway, you’ve got a few more weeks to make up your mind.”

  “True”, she said, then studied the board quietly for a minute. “No offense, Doon, but this is boring.”

  “You’d be surprised how many of Mankind’s greatest adventures started out with someone being bored.”

  “Boredom and too much testosterone”, she said, and looked up at me, a sparkle in her eyes. “Maybe I’m not being clear, here. I’m not just bored; I’m bored and horny. ”

  I stared the chess board for a moment.

  “Bet you’re not thinking about your next move”, she said, grinning wickedly.

  “Bet I am”, I said, and grinned back. “Just not a chess move. I do wonder if doing anything about our mutual, ah… boredom… is such a good idea.”

  “I don’t see why it wouldn’t be”, she said. “Yeah, you’re the Captain, but so what? I don’t need a contract just to fool around, and I doubt you do, either. I’m pretty sure you like women and think I’m attractive; I’ve caught you checking me out. And you’re not too hideous, yourself.”

  “Gee, thanks”, I said.

  “Plus, I know you don’t have anything else going on, or you wouldn’t be sitting here playing chess.”

  “Touché”, I said. “Unfortunately, it’s been so long now, I’m not sure if I remember how.”

  “Dim the lights”, she said, “And I’ll see if I can refresh your memory.”

  She did.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Looking for freckles”, I said. “Wow, I’ve never seen them there before.” I played my tongue across her warm skin, kissing her softly as I went. She shuddered and giggled.

  “Keep looking”, she said, “There are more.”

  There were.

  The final two weeks of the voyage passed almost in a blur. Lola began spending nights in my quarters, since we were spending a lot of time there, anyway. All of the acceleration couches would flatten out into beds at the touch of a button, but mine was the only one aboard big enough to sleep two. As someone once said, R.H.I.P.; Rank Hath It’s Privileges. Another perk was my private head, now working, thanks to Cozi.

  After a few days of us sneaking around, I finally said screw it, and had Lola move her meager belongings into my quarters. The Enigma was not some big luxury liner with several hundred people aboard. Chances were, everyone knew what was going on anyway, and they were politely pretending not to notice.

  Cozi definitely knew, and I could tell he was not amused by the development. I wasn’t sure if it was just a case of jealousy, but I figured the sooner I found out and dealt with it, the better. Cozi usually wouldn’t get over one of his moods without having a chance to vent first. He managed to dodge me for a couple of days, before I cornered him in the machine shop. He looked up when I walked in, scowled at me, and went back to tinkering with some gadget on the work bench.

  “Knock it off, Cozi”, I said, as I leaned against the other end of the long table. “We’ve known each other since we were kids, and if there’s one thing I can tell, it’s when you’ve got a bug up your ass about something. So, spit it out.”

  “Do you have some sort of genetic flaw that impels you to try and fuck every woman you meet?” he asked, looking up from his work.

  “Probably not genetic”, I said. “More in line with a personality defect. You gonna turn me in for reprogramming?”

  “Neutering would be more appropriate.”

  “You’re not the first to suggest that“, I said, which actually elicited a brief smile from him. I continued.

  “Look”, I didn’t know you were interested, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know, either. For what it’s worth, it’s not serious.”

  “I’m not interested”, he said. “At least, not in that way. But there’s only one of you who isn’t serious about it.”

  “Well, that’s what she says, too.”

  “You tell her you’re not serious, what do you expect her to say? Moron.”

  “What? I’m supposed to be psychic, now?”

  “No”, he said, “But if you’d try thinking with your head instead of your dick once in a while, maybe some of the shit that happens wouldn’t happen.”

  “If you’re referring to Rachel”, I said, “You’re not being fair. Sure, I didn’t see what was happening, but neither did you or any of my other so-called friends. There was a lot of stuff going on, and at least this time, it wasn’t just me chasing tail. And you know it.”

  Cozi walked over to the intercom, tapped on the vidscreen, and disabled the audio and video for the room.

  “You aren’t getting my point”, he said. “Maybe you couldn’t have prevented the thing with Rachel from happening, but you sure as hell ought to have learned from it, the least of it being that regardless of what someone says, you can never really know what’s going on inside their head.”

  “Believe me”, I said, “That’s one I did learn.”

  “I wonder”, he said. “I think there were some issues back on Luna which you didn’t want to deal with. Which is why we’re out here, and not back there.”

  “Alright, Freud, you tell me what you’d do”, I said. “I meet Rachel, we’re together for two amazing years. I declare my undying love for her, and she does the same. I suggest we do the contract thing. Two days later, she’s out the door, and with some other guy, without so much as a see ya. And while that’s pretty depressing, it’s nothing like running into them five times a week, and having to pretend you don’t care. I mean, granted, I was kind of depressed before, but that’s enough to make you want to walk out of an airlock. So yes, that’s one of the reasons I’m out here and not back there.”

  He stopped what he was doing, and turned to face me.

  “Hey man, I’m sorry. I was there when she left, but I didn’t know about the other part”, he said. “Must have been after I left.”

  “It was”, I said, “And the thing is, none of it was accidental. She was doing it on purpose.”

  “Man, she must have been really pissed off about something.”

  “No shit”, I said. “I still don’t have a clue what I did. Look, do you have any idea why I’m really out here?”

  “Other than the obvious stuff you’d deny, probably not.”

  “It’s pretty simple, Cozi. This is what I’ve always wanted to do, ever since I was a kid. But you know how it works these days. They figure out what you’re good at, and that’s what you get to do, like it or not. For you that meant getting to do what you love to do; engineering. For me, it meant dealing with AIs and software, and jobs that would never lead to doing what I really wanted. Coz, this is like a dream, and every day, I’m afraid I’ll wake up and find I’m back on Luna. This is why I’m out here. Does that make any sense to you?”

  “Oddly enough, it does.”

  “Thanks”, I said.

  “Don’t thank me just yet”, he said. “This situation has cluster fuck written all over it. You’re stuck on a ship with an AI who thinks she loves you, if that’s even possible, and now you’re shacking up with someone I’m pretty sure is also in love with you. If that isn’t complicated enough, you’re busy mooning over a babe who won’t even give you the time of day. I don’t get what any of them see in you, but I do know this- I don’t think I want to be here if all these women get pissed off at
you at the same time.”

  I sighed.

  “I’ve about given up on Kyra”, I said. “I don’t think that’s really an issue anymore. As for Angie; I have no idea how to deal with that, and neither do you. With Lola… well, I do get your point. I’ll try to tread lightly. She’s a fantastic person, and the last thing I want is to hurt her.”

  “Sometimes you’re a real asshole”, he said, “And sometimes you’re not. I wish you’d have the decency to be consistent.”

  “You want consistent, deal with machines”, I said.

  “You think I’m an engineer by accident?”

  “And yet you continue to associate with us mere humans”, I said. “Speaking of which, in about thirty-six hours, you’re going to be seeing a lot more of them. I understand that they’re a type of humans known as the cranky British variety, so it’ll be a new experience for me, too. I’ve seen them in vids, but I’ve never met one in person.”

  “Sounds like my kind of people”, he said, smiling.

  “Cranky? No doubt”, I said. “Hey, remind me to get you laid when we get there. You’re starting to look a little tightly wound.”

  I quickly ducked out of the machine shop, and heard a solid thunk as something struck the inside of the door.

  Damn. His aim was getting better.

  Chapter 17

  “Enigma, you are docked”, the voice said over the radio. “Welcome to New London.”

  “Thanks, control”, Eng said.

  “We’ll run a tube out to you in a few minutes. Any preferences?”

  “Main airlock, top deck of the Habitat”, Eng said.

  “Copy that. Control out.”

  “Enigma out.”

  Eng tapped at his vidscreen, checking the various ships systems. Kyra was also reading from a screen, but I couldn’t tell what she was looking at.

  “Well, now what?” I asked. “How do we get them to service the ship? I don’t suppose we could just get them to just bill it to TGS.”

  “Not likely”, Eng said. “Welcome to the world of being an independent. You’ll need to deposit funds with the port authority. They’ll set up a temporary account for the Enigma, and anything we need done or we buy from them gets debited from it. When we leave, they’ll close out the account and give you back any money left over.”

  “How much should I give them?” I asked. Eng turned back to his vidscreen, and pulled up what I figured was a price list.

  “Depends on what you want done”, he said. “I assume you want to fully stock the ship: fuel, food, the works. Five grand should cover all that. I’d suggest we get that blown fuel cell replaced, and have a real hull repair job done. Ten, maybe fifteen grand would probably cover everything, if you can swing it.”

  “As long as they take cash chips”, I said, “I can swing it.”

  I looked over to Kyra at her station.

  “Got anything for us, Kyra?” She turned around to face me.

  “I’ve scanned all the news nets for anything that might be relevant to us. The only thing I found was a brief story about the Cooper’s Dream not showing up, presumed lost. Here, the situation is about what we expected. New London is still claiming they’re an independent free state, and the UP and the planet aren’t pushing the issue. I’ll have Angela run a constant scan of the nets, for anything that might interest us.”

  “Good”, I said. “What about ship security?”

  “Protocol says you need to have someone standing watch at all times, if not on the Bridge, at least somewhere aboard. In fact, there should always be a ship’s officer on board.”

  “That’s gonna put a crimp in our crew dinner”, I said.

  “Not as big a crimp as having the Enigma stolen from you”, she said.

  “Okay, you convinced me”, I said. “Eng, make up a standard watch list, and make sure everyone has it.”

  “No sweat”, he said. “Of course, it would help if I knew who was going to be available as crew.”

  Kyra shot him a dirty look, and then turned her attention to me.

  “I suppose we need to talk”, she said.

  Eng took that as his cue to make himself scarce.

  “If you don’t need me right now, I’ll go make sure the walkway tube gets properly connected”, he said, rising from his station.

  “There is one thing, I said. I pulled some cash chips from a pocket. “I don’t know if you guys have any money or not. Regardless, I figure a couple grand a piece ought to make the stay here a little more comfortable. I know I’m not eating any ship’s rations while we’re in port, and no one else should have to, either.” I got up, and handed him the chips. I gave one to Kyra, who reluctantly took it.

  “Thanks”, he said. “I’ll see that Cozi and Lola get theirs.” He left the Bridge, and Kyra and I were alone.

  “I don’t need this”, she said, holding up the chip.

  I sat back down my chair at the helm.

  “Keep it”, I said. “I owe you a lot more than that. And we still need your help, if that makes a difference.”

  “I’m sure I’ll end up regretting this”, she said, “But I’ve decided I’ll stay on, at least for now. You shouldn’t infer anything from this; my motives are my business.”

  “I try not to infer anything”, I said. “To be honest, I usually have no idea why you do what you do. Sometimes, you baffle me, but most of the time, you simply scare the bejesus out of me. To make any assumptions, I’d have to have some level of understanding of you, at least a little, and I don’t. I’d be surprised if anyone does.”

  She shrugged.

  “I’m not that complicated”, she said. “I enjoy what I do, and I’m good at it. But I’m hardly perfect; I do make mistakes. There is one thing we have in common now. Maybe you’ve realized what it is, maybe not. Sooner or later, you will.”

  “You and I have something in common?” I asked.

  “Yes, we do. If either of us screws up, people can die. You’re not just responsible for yourself anymore.”

  “That has occurred to me”, I said. “I’m still not sure how I feel about it.”

  “I don’t doubt that“, she said. “You embarked on what you thought would be a lark, and it’s turned into something serious.”

  “That’s accurate enough”, I said. “The thing is, it has been fun. At least, in the brief interludes between the sheer terror. This getting batted around from one crisis to the next like a handball is getting old, though.”

  “I imagine it is”, she said, as she leaned back, and put her feet up on the console. She sat silently for a moment, lost in thought.

  “When I was a little girl, maybe six or seven, I met my grandfather. He was my mother’s dad, and it was the first time I’d ever seen him. My mother was tall, but he towered over her like some giant from a fairy tale. He was ancient, even back then; probably over a hundred, all wrinkled and gray. But his voice was strong and deep; I thought I could feel it in my bones when he spoke. He was also an ornery old bastard. I could tell my father was afraid of him.”

  “Anyway, he’d put me on his lap and tell me stories. There were these incredible tales of huge battles, cities destroyed, heroes and heroines, of people dying for what they believed in. I don’t know how much of what he told me was real, but I did learn later that he’d spent most of his life in one military or another, and some of the stories did bear a resemblance to historical events, like the Holy Wars, where everyone else ganged up on something called Muslims and wiped them out.”

  She paused for a moment, and then continued.

  “Besides the stories, he told me a lot of other things, which I guess he figured I ought to know. I didn’t understand any of it then, and some of it I still don’t get.”

  “He spent about a month with us, then one morning, he came down to breakfast with his bag. He gave me a hug, told me to watch my butt out there, and was gone as suddenly as he’d appeared. I’ve seen him a few times since then, the last time eight or ten years ago.”

 
; “Whatever happened to him?”

  “Tell you some other time”, she said, and smiled. “I can’t tell you all my good stories at once. But I will tell you one of his little bits of wisdom he told me: it’s a lot easier to be the hammer than the nail.”

  “That’s chess”, I said.

  “What?” she asked, looking confused.

  “That’s chess “, I said again. “Don’t play your opponent’s game. Take the initiative, be the aggressor, act, don’t react.”

  “That’s not just chess, Doon”, She said, “That’s life.”

  “Well it works in chess, too.”

  “It works in life too, if you actually live by it”, she said. “Which, by the way, you haven’t been doing.”

  “So how does one go from being a nail to a hammer?” I asked. “It can’t be as simple as changing your nametag.”

  “It’s little things, small decisions that add up to big things”, she said. “Being pissed off seems to help a lot.”

  “Why is it we’ve never sat down and talked like this before?” I asked.

  “I figured it would have been a waste of my time.”

  “You were probably right”, I said. “What’s changed?”

  “You have”, she said. “Or at least you’re starting to. You’ve already surprised me a few times, and that’s pretty hard to do.”

  “I don’t feel any different”, I said. “How have I surprised you?”

  “Like when you liberated Angela from the Ming Shu.”

  “Oh”, I said. “You found out about that.”

  “Pretty hard not to notice her being here. Plus, I knew the Ming Shu was having an issue with their AI.”

  “If her being gone is an issue, then yeah”, I said, smiling.

  “Seo was a tad annoyed with you”, she said. “We run into him, he’s going to expect some sort of compensation, but you know that. Anyway, you have the potential to surprise a lot of people. Provided you don’t get killed first.”

  “Thanks, I think”, I said. “What people?”

  “People who are long overdue for a good surprise.”