Dubious Heroes: a novel Read online

  Cisco and Donner loaded the cannon with metal. It took them a couple of minutes, even though they were moving quickly. I could see then that it wasn’t what you’d call a rapid-fire weapon. Once they were done, they stepped back, and Lola pushed another button on the panel. The hatch slid closed, and the indicator light turned bright red. I heard a pump kick on, probably pressurizing the weapon.

  “That”, she said, pointing to another button, “Is the kill switch, in case you need to open it back up, after you’ve armed it.”

  “Where’s the fire button?” Cisco asked.

  “There isn’t one”, Lola said. “That’s handled by Angela.”

  “Hmmm”, Cisco said, looking at the device. “If I’d built it, I’d have put a fire button down here, too.”

  Lola shifted uncomfortably, and the look on her face told me why.

  “Show us”, I said. “If Cozi gives you any shit about it, tell him I ordered you to.”

  “Well, you just did”, she said. “You can fire the cannon manually by pushing both these buttons at the same time. It only works if the cannon is already armed.”

  “Looks pretty simple”, Cisco said. “I think we can handle it.”

  “Oh yeah”, Lola said. “Cozi said you shouldn’t stand near the breech when it’s firing, at least with this one. If there’s any kind of jam in the barrel…“

  “Blowout”, Cisco said.

  “Which I suspect is the same thing as total hatch failure”, she said.

  “Yeah”, I said, “I suspect it is. Whatever you call it, I’d stand back when it’s firing.”

  “Gotcha… Sir”, Cisco said. “What about the other one?”

  “Same process as this one”, she said. “Except there’s no seal.”

  “Those are all the seals we have?” Donner asked.

  “Yep”, Lola said. “Not enough raw materials aboard to make more.”

  “But we can shoot the rail gun as much as we want, right?” Cisco said.

  “Near enough”, I said. “There are some power concerns, but from what I understand, you’ll run out of ammo before we run out of power.”

  “Questions?” Lola asked. None of us said anything.

  “Okay”, I said. “What are Malach and Jones doing?”

  “Geared up, ready to repel boarders”, Cisco said.

  “Call them up here, and put them over in Cargo bay four”, I said. “Show em how to work the rail gun.”

  “Copy that”, Cisco said. “I’ll see that both are manned.”

  “Thanks”, I said, and looked over to Lola. “Do you and Cozi have your suits down there?”

  “Not yet”, she said. “If one of you guys will give me a hand, I’ll take em on the way back down.”

  “I’ll give you a hand”, I said, then turned to Cisco and Donner. “Let me know if you need anything. If you hear an alarm, get those helmets on, pronto. Things could happen very quickly.”

  “We’ll be alright”, Cisco said.

  Lola and I took the lift up to the suit locker in the Habitat Module, grabbed their two suits, and carried them back to the lift. I sent her down to Engineering with them, then cycled through the hatch, into the core, and began my climb up to the Bridge.

  By the time I reached the Bridge, I was beginning to regret not following Smith’s new exercise regimen. The hatch slid closed behind me, and I stood, huffing and puffing, sweat running from my face. I wobbled my way over to the helm, and collapsed into my seat. It took me a moment to catch my breath.

  “What’s our acceleration now?” I asked.

  “One point four gees”, Eng said, looking at one of his screens.

  “Jesus”, I said. “That explains that. I thought I was getting out of shape.”

  “Engineering to the Bridge”, Angie said.

  “Go ahead”, I said.

  “Aye”, she said.

  “Doon?” It was Cozi.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you come down here?”

  I sighed, and wiped the sweat from my forehead with my sleeve.

  “Is it absolutely necessary?” I asked.

  “Of course not”, Cozi said. “I was just hoping you’d pop down for a beer and a quick game of chess.”

  I could have sworn I also heard the word moron, but the transmission cut off.

  “Get him again”, I said. Angie complied.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Don’t be such a prick”, I said. “I’m coming down.”

  I walked over to the lift door, and pushed the button. Mercifully, it slid open. Angie must have brought the lift up for me, and had it waiting. I looked over at Kyra, who was trying hard not to smile.

  “We get the chance”, I said, as I stepped into the lift, “I’m hiring more crew.”

  “Make sure some of them are soldiers”, she said, as the lift door closed, and I headed back down.

  I found Cozi waiting for me in the Engineering control room. Lola sat at one of the consoles, monitoring data on three different vidscreens. Cozi stood behind, looking over her shoulder. Lola was wearing her suit, the helmet attached to the holder on her accel couch. Cozi hadn’t suited up yet, but then again, neither had I.

  When he saw me, he straightened up, and walked over to a hole in the deck.

  “It’s down here”, he said, and without preamble, climbed down the ladder. I followed him. Once down, I saw we were in one of the cramped wiring and plumbing chases of the ship. You could probably squeeze through it in a suit, but I wouldn’t have wanted to try it.

  We followed a twisting path through what seemed like a maze of tunnels, Cozi moving more quickly and easily, thanks to his smaller size. I was doing a lot of ducking, and still managed to whack my head on low pipes a few times.

  “It’s hot down here”, I said, wiping sweat from my brow. Cozi didn’t answer, as he slipped from sight, somewhere ahead of me.

  “In here”, he said, as I almost walked past the alcove he’d stepped into. “We’re picking up heat transfer from the pulse drive, which is just beneath us.” I could feel the vibration of the drive; it was much stronger than elsewhere on the ship.

  “Just heat, I hope”, I said. “And not radiation.”

  “The radiation heads in the other direction, away from us. Even so, there are three layers of shielding between us and the drives. We’re picking up about a half of a percent of the heat that’s down there, through conduction.”

  “Must be pretty hot down there”, I said. I thought I could feel it, through my sticky shoes.

  “Surface of the sun hot”, he said. “Anyway, this is why we’re down here.”

  He turned and indicated a small hatch in the bulkhead. There was an access panel to the right of the hatch, wedged amid the pipes and conduits. There was a similar one controlling access into the Bridge, from the core. Normally, none of us ever used it; Angie knew who was supposed to be there, and controlled access accordingly.

  “Stick your thumb on the panel”, he said. I did so, and it beeped at me.

  “Now, look into it”, he said. “Retinal scan. I’m guessing that the thumb print tells it who you are, and the retinal scan verifies it.”

  “Why not just tell Angie to open the damned thing?” I asked, as I stepped closer to the panel, and looked at the sensor. There was a brief flash of green light, bright, though not blindingly so.

  “She doesn’t have access to it”, Cozi said. “As the nominal ship owners, only you and I can come in here. I did get your biometric data from her, though.”

  The control panel beeped again, and the hatch slid open. Dim lighting flickered on.

  “Looks like it worked”, I said.

  I walked into the small room. It looked a lot like the service chase outside the door, except for the black boxes lining the bulkhead in front of me.

  “Ha”, I said. “They really are black boxes.”

  Cozi squeezed in behind me.

  “That’s probably intentional”, he said. “Sort of adds to their mystique.�
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  “So, the SpeedLink is in here?”

  “Assuming there is one at all”, he said, “Then yes, this is where it would be. As for which one… take your pick. I count four of them, and they’re all wired together, in series. That fat cable is the power feed, and the other wiring harness is incoming ship telemetry, according to Angie.”

  “You didn’t disconnect anything, did you?” I asked.

  “You want to unplug something”, he said, “Knock yourself out. I’m not fucking with any of it, and if you decide to, please let me know, so I can get off the ship first.”

  “So much for being my surly but lovable sidekick”, I said, as I looked at the boxes before us.

  “You can bite me”, he said.

  “That’s more like it”, I said. “Well, I gather you’re not familiar with this setup, which means we aren’t going to be turning anything off.”

  “Essentially… yeah”, he said. “The Enigma only had one black box; this thing has four, and none of them are labeled, beyond those cute little stickers that say ‘Fuck with this at your own risk’.”

  I leaned over, and looked at one of the labels. There was the Dark Energy Corporation logo, beneath which was neatly printed Fuck with this at your own risk. And you’ll also void your warranty.

  “Fuck the warranty”, Cozi said. “I draw the line at tampering with anything that can make me disappear.”

  “Well, I’m not screwing with them, either”, I said. “Which means we have a serious problem. Those other UP ships are gonna show up and start shooting at us again, and even if we manage to get away, they’ll just keep on showing up until they do get us.”

  “I’ve been thinking about that”, he said.

  “You don’t know how glad I am to hear that”, I said.

  “These DEC boxes get their data from Angie. That’s pretty much normal; the star drive needs navigation telemetry to work. Since all these things appear to be linked together, it’s a safe bet that the SpeedLink is just reading the same data that’s being fed to the star drive.”

  “In that case, why can’t Angie use the SpeedLink?” I asked. “After all, she uses the star drive, and they’ve gotta be similar.”

  “They probably are”, he said. “But, as you yourself said, she doesn’t have the software for it, and to an AI, that’s like missing a sense.”

  “Alright”, I said. “So, it’s a software problem. I know AIs. I ought to be able to come up with something that would work.”

  “Knowing AIs isn’t the problem”, Cozi said. “When we moved Angie over, she already had the ability to use a DEC drive. But, there’s more here than your basic star drive. It must have some internal software allowing the SpeedLink to do what it’s doing. If we could get a copy of the SpeedLink interface from another AI, she ought to be able to use it, as well.”

  “What about these other boxes?” I asked. “I figure one for the star drive, and one for the SpeedLink. What do the others do?”

  Cozi regarded them silently for a moment.

  “Well”, he said, “As much as it bothers me to say this, I have no idea. They may be doing something that isn’t obvious, or they might even be idle, because we lack the control software. You know, next time…”

  “Yeah, I know”, I said. “Next time, steal a starship with an instruction manual. I thought you said you had an idea.”

  “I do”, he said. “Not so much as a solution, as a workaround.”

  “Which is?”

  “We lie to the DEC boxes.”

  “How?” I asked. “And is that, I dunno… wise?”

  “We have Angie send down false data”, he said. “I thought about stopping the data completely, but that might not be a good idea; I’m not sure how the DEC equipment would react.”

  “So, we send em fake data”, I said. “What’s the downside?”

  “The downside is, if you want to use the star drive, you’re going to have to feed it the correct telemetry data”, he said. “It needs it to know where we are, and where we’re going. Otherwise, there’s no telling where we’d transit to. Personally, that’s an experiment I’d rather not try.”

  “And as soon as we feed it the correct data, the bad guys will know where we really are.”

  “That’s a possibility”, Cozi said, shrugging. “Depends on when it’s being sent out. We would only have to switch to the correct data for a second, transit, and then once we’re there, we garble it again.”

  “Well”, I said, “Honestly, I don’t have a lot of confidence in this. On the other hand, it’s the only idea we have.”

  “I wish I had something better”, Cozi said.

  “You and me both”, I said. “Don’t sweat it. We’ll figure something out. If nothing else, they get close enough, we’re gonna teach em how it was done back then.”

  My Pod beeped, and I fished it from a pocket. Angie didn’t have eyes and ears in this part of the ship. I suspected the call was not going to be good news.

  “Doon”, I said.

  “We have company”, Angie said. “Just transiting in.”

  “Number one is below and aft, range of eleven hundred clicks”, she said. “Number two is ahead, and slightly to port, range of about two thousand clicks. Number three is also out in front of us, but to our starboard. They’re matching our course, more or less. Or, at least trying to.”

  “They’re trying to box us in”, I said, more to myself than Angie. “I’m on my way up.”

  “I gather they’re here”, Cozi said, as I removed my ear bud.

  “Yes, they are”, I said. “We’re going to try your idea, but not for a little while.”

  “Why not just leave now?”

  “Because I’m tired of getting shot at, and even more tired of running”, I said. We left the equipment room, the hatch sliding closed behind us, the secrets of the Dark Energy Corporation safe again, at least for the time being.

  “You say that like you can do something about it”, Cozi said.

  “I intend to try”, I said. “These guys think they know everything this ship can do, but they’re wrong, and I’d like to show them that. It’s one thing to blow a cargo bay of junk in someone’s path, and quite another to shoot it at them. Any recommendations?”

  “Get us in as close as you can”, he said.

  We began snaking our way back toward Engineering.

  “Remember when we first lifted in the Enigma?” I asked. “Angie and I were joking that the only thing we needed to be proper pirates were a few cannon.”

  “I remember”, he said. “Wasn’t that funny then. It still isn’t.”

  “Ever since we were kids, I’ve been waiting on you to grow a sense of humor. I’m beginning to lose hope, buddy.”

  “Tell you what”, he said, looking over his shoulder at me. “You get us out of this one, and I’ll dance a jig for you.”

  “Deal”, I said. “Time and place of my choosing?”

  “Oh, why the hell not”, he said. “Might as well make it naked. You’re never gonna collect, anyway.”

  We climbed back up to the main engineering deck. I waved at Lola, and made my way back to the lift. Angie was throwing us around pretty hard, and, not for the first time, I was glad I wasn’t climbing. About halfway up, she interrupted my reverie.

  “Incoming hail, Doon”, she said. “Same UPDF woman as last time.”

  “Stall her for a minute”, I said. “At least until I get to the Bridge.”

  “I’ll tell her you’re in the can”, she said. I smiled. If Angie could develop a sense of humor, then so could Cozi. As I entered the Bridge, it occurred to me that I didn’t know if Angie was kidding. I didn’t ask.

  Lost in thought, I tripped over the three spacesuits someone had left in front of the lift door.

  “You guys are supposed to be wearing these”, I said, as I slid into my chair at the helm, and fastened my restraints.

  “So are you”, Kyra said, not moving.

  I punched the commlink button.
r />   “Captain Danzen”, I said, as she appeared on my screen. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  She didn’t smile. Another Cozi.

  “Given your situation”, she said, “I’m a bit surprised you’re in the mood for levity.”

  “I’m always in the mood for levity”, I said. “Besides, I have an idea that my take on our situation is a lot different than yours.”

  “No doubt”, she said. “Ignorance is bliss, after all. Against my better judgment, I’m giving you one more chance. It is the last you’ll get. You already know you can’t escape. Surrender your vessel at once, or we will destroy you.”

  “May I have a moment to confer with my officers?”

  “A moment is all you have, Captain”, she said. “No games, please.”

  “Perish the thought”, I said, and killed the commlink. I called up a course plot on one of screens.

  “Angie”, I said, “Can you put us right on top of these coordinates?”

  “Via transit?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t see why we can’t do one that short”, she said.

  “More of a hop than a transit”, Eng said, looking at the data. “Maybe that’s what we ought to call em.”

  “Starships do not hop, Mister Eng”, I said. “Bunny rabbits hop.”

  “How about microjumps ?” Angie asked. “It would be accurate, and has no connotation of small furry animals.”

  “Microjumps it is”, I said. “Which ship is Danzen on?”

  “Ahead and starboard”, she said. “That would be her frigate the Bismarck. We don’t know the names of the other two.”

  “I don’t think we’re gonna have time to get acquainted”, I said. “What’s the turnaround time on our torpedo tubes, once they’ve been fired?”

  “Six seconds”, Kyra said. “Both tubes are loaded, and the missiles are hot.” She looked over at me and smiled. Getting the chance to wallop someone always put her in a good mood.

  “Incoming hail”, Angie said.

  “Time’s up”, Eng said.

  “Patch me into Cargo Bays Two and Four”, I said.

  “Aye”, Angie said. “You’re on.”

  “This is Doon”, I said. “We’re about to use those weapons. Unless you hear otherwise, reload them as fast as you can, and hang on.”