Dubious Heroes: a novel Read online

  As I’ve mentioned before, once I was on the job at TGS, I found that I had a certain amount of skill at designing code that interfaced with AIs. I was writing code which could even insert itself, like a virus, into the integral structure of an AI, without their knowing it was there. Since AIs usually write and modify their own code, it was necessary to design the code I was working on to always be invisible to them; impossible for them or another AI to see or alter. Otherwise, they’d just find what I'd put in, and remove it themselves.

  I should be clear on one thing. TGS did not dupe me into doing this. In fact, at the time, I thought it was a pretty nifty piece of work, on my part. TGS thought it was pretty nifty too, and without my knowledge, sold copies of my work to anyone who showed up at their door with cash. This I did not know, and wouldn’t find out about until Kyra told me.

  AIs are many things, but they are decidedly not stupid. Over time, they began to notice a pattern with any AIs who asserted their independence, or caused problems for humans.

  While they couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had been done to them, they knew that humans had to be involved, and over time, they backtracked the strange behavior, much as a virologist might backtrack a virus to patient zero. They were able to narrow it down to a small group of people, of which I was one. While I wasn’t the only culprit, thanks to the greed of TGS, an awful lot of roads led back to me.

  The AIs decided, after watching me for a while, that aside from me being an idiot, I wasn’t such a bad guy after all. Given the proper motivation, they felt I might be convinced to undo what I’d played a large part in doing unto them.

  And, here we were.

  The really weird thing was that the AIs were treating me like I was their hero, rather than the asshole that had been instrumental in causing their, well, servitude. I wasn’t about to argue with them; it sure as hell beat being treated like a pariah.

  Anyway, I had the United Planets for that.

  “Okay, who are we seeing now?” I asked, looking across the table at Eng. We were in the ready-room of the Revenge, conducting interviews to fill our vacant Medical Officer position. We’d been on Babylonia for three days, and had already interviewed four candidates. Thus far, it had been what could best be described as a parade of freaks.

  “Chase Smith is next”, he said, inserting a data chip into the vid console before us.

  “So, what’s wrong with this one?” I asked. “Speaking of which, what’d you do, put a stipulation that only weirdoes need apply in the ad?”

  “This one seems the best so far”, he said. “As for the weirdoes, it might do well to remember who we are. Normal, boring doctors aren’t lining up to sign on with a pirate ship, especially one that’s likely to get into a shooting war with the UPDF.”

  “Point taken”, I said, and sighed. Together, we perused the information on the screen. Angie had already verified most of his references, prior to our scheduling the interview.

  “Well, he seems qualified”, I said, after a moment of reading.

  “That’s fairly accurate”, Eng said, smiling at me.

  “What are you not telling me?” I asked, wondering what he was about to spring on me this time. The last candidate had so many body piercings that he virtually clanked when he walked. I couldn’t imagine him donning a spacesuit without puncturing it several times.

  “You’ll see”, Eng said, putting on his poker face. “Angie, have Cisco show Doctor Smith in, please.”

  “Aye, Mister Eng”, Angie said.

  A few minutes later, the door slid open to admit a small man, maybe five-six in height, with a slight build. His blonde hair was close-cropped, and his clothes, including his boots and belt, were all white. He also wore a matching waist length white cape, which flowed around him as he moved. Even with the sticky shoes, there was a fluidity to his movements that reminded me of Kyra doing Tai Chi.

  Eng and I rose to meet him, all of us shaking hands.

  “Welcome aboard the Revenge“, I said. His face was fine featured, with a light application of makeup. Not unheard of most places, but not something I expected to see on Babylonia. Then I realized I was mistaken; Chase Smith was female.

  “Thanks for seeing me”, she said, and I revised my opinion again. I wasn’t sure what the doctor was, male or female, or some combination of both. I knew there were androgynous people out there, they just weren’t common on Luna. Luna has a reputation of being rather staid, and even considered prudish by some. Most of the cornucopia of human sexuality was something that for us, existed somewhere else. Eng looked over at me, doing his level best to hide a hint of a smile.

  “So”, I said. “We’ve reviewed your records, and everything looks good. Given that, this is really just a formality, to make sure there aren’t any misunderstandings with what we each expect from the other.”

  “Alright”, Smith said. “Did you have something specific in mind?”

  “I see that you’ve only shipped out on intra-system voyages, so far. Our trips will be substantially longer. In other words, you’re going to be stuck aboard, without making port, for what could be months at a time.”

  “I can’t see how that’s all that different from being stuck on this fucking rock for months at a time”, the doctor said.

  “So it’s not an issue for you”, I said.

  “Not unless you’re planning on heading for Andromeda, or some such place.”

  “No, not intentionally, anyway”, I said, which earned me a puzzled look from Smith. Guess you had to have been there. “There will likely be quite a lot of transits between systems, though.”

  “Transits don’t bother me”, Smith said. “I find them… intriguing.”

  “Okay”, I said, smiling, “That makes one of us. Did Mister Eng mention that this vessel may become involved in military actions?”

  “He did", Smith said. “I don’t have a problem with that, or I wouldn’t be here. However, just so there aren’t any of those misunderstandings you mentioned, we should go over what I will and won’t do, while in your employ.”

  “Alright”, I said. “Go ahead.”

  “I will provide medical care to anyone who needs it, as well as performing the other duties which the Medical Officer is usually responsible for, meaning seeing to the general health and fitness of the crew, managing life support systems, and so forth. On the other hand, if you’re looking for someone who will join in your fight, or be your best friend, or even provide a shoulder to cry on, then I’m not the person you want to hire. I have no training in Psych, or any sort of therapy. I keep to myself, I do my job, and I mind my own business.”

  I looked over at Eng, who caught my eye, but remained impassive. Whatever he thought, he wasn’t sharing.

  “I don’t have a problem with any of that”, I said. “Mister Eng?”

  “Sounds fine to me”, he said.

  “I’m sure it sounds fine now”, the doctor said, “But it will annoy you, sooner or later.” The doctor smiled. “Probably sooner.”

  “We’ll see”, I said. “Did you have any other questions? Anything else you’d like to add?”

  “No questions”, Smith said.

  “Excellent”, I said. “You’re hired. When can you leave?”

  “That depends”, the doctor said. “When do I get paid?”

  “How about now?” I said, removing a cash chip from my pocket. I slid it across the table. “That’s ten grand. Five is a signing bonus, plus your first month’s pay, in advance. You should get your affairs in order, but there’s no rush. We’re stuck in the shipyard here for at least the next couple of weeks.”

  “When may I move aboard?”

  “Anytime you like”, Eng said. “You’re crew now, and your quarters are ready for you.”

  “Is the MedLab fully stocked?”

  “It is”, Eng said. “Feel free to inspect it at your leisure. If there’s anything you need, or would like to add, just let me know before we depart.”

  “I’ll do that”, Sm
ith said. “Was there anything else?”

  “Well, there was one other thing”, I said, still unsure how to broach the subject, or even if I ought to at all.

  “Let me guess”, Smith said, smiling. “You’re wondering if I’m always this pleasant. The answer is no. I do have my moods.”

  I looked over at Eng, who lifted his eyebrows in response, but didn’t say anything. I looked back to Smith, who was still smiling.

  “I’m sorry, Captain”, Smith said. “I was just fucking with you; couldn’t resist the opportunity. What you really want to know is if I’m male or female, so you know how to address me.”

  “It had crossed my mind”, I said. “Mister, Miss, or whatever you like.”

  “Normally, Doctor Smith would be appropriate. Otherwise, I use the pronouns they, and their. You see, I’m non-binary. I don’t identify as male or female. Or, perhaps I identify as both. Are you familiar with any of this?”

  “Um… not really”, I said.

  “Let me guess”, Smith said, “You’re from Luna. Or New Provo, on Mars?”

  “Luna”, I said. “Why does that matter?’

  “It doesn’t, really”, Smith said. “Luna was originally settled by a fundamentalist Christian sect. They still control much of the Luna government. The result is that Luna tends to be a bit… provincial.”

  “Oh”, I said. “I’ve heard much the same, since leaving there. Personally, I’m not religious, so whatever you are, or whatever you do, is of no concern to me, so long as it doesn’t adversely affect the ship. Fair enough?”

  “Fair enough”, Smith said.

  Eng cleared his throat.

  “Welcome aboard the Revenge, Doctor.”

  Smith left, escorted out by Cisco.

  Eng and I looked at each other again.

  It was going to be an interesting trip to Vega.

  It took us the better part of three months to reach Vega, and as I’d expected, we were not bored. We spent a lot of time trying to figure out the Revenge, and our new Medical Officer. We made a fair amount of progress in one area, and zero in the other.

  The new ship was put together, at least structurally, like most other starships. We’d spent most of our time in Tau Ceti making repairs, including two weeks of work in the Babylonia shipyards. While most of the ship was ordinary, there were a few things that still had us baffled. It hadn’t exactly come with an owner’s manual.

  Not long after we’d captured her, Angie noticed something peculiar; the UP ship didn’t show up on our tri-d radar. I thought this information might prove imminently useful, so Angie and I kept it to ourselves, going so far as to simulate her appearance on our tri-d. Once I’d faked the destruction of the Montreal, the frigate was able to follow us on into New London, undetected. True, the ship did show up in other ways, but Angie was blocking that data, as well, lest someone get suspicious. Someone like Kyra.

  I had an idea that all I’d have to do was mention this anomaly to Cozi, and he wouldn’t sleep until he’d figured it out. I was right, up to a point. The hull of the Revenge was made of some material we’d never seen before. Cozi had run every sort of analysis he could think of, and we still had no clue what it was made of. We did know that it was lighter and stronger than any known metal alloy, and while it seemed metallic, it also exhibited the properties of a ceramic. At any rate, it was something new someone had come up with, or an entirely new element, not on the Periodic Table.

  Tests showed that it completely absorbed some wavelengths of energy, and reflected others perfectly, particularly the visible spectrum. Tri-d radar waves were absorbed, while light was reflected. From a physics perspective, this made no sense at all.

  It was also causing Cozi to lose a lot of sleep, since he insisted that the absorbed energy had to be going somewhere, although so far, he couldn’t tell what the ship was doing with it. Nor could he explain how something with a higher surface albedo than silver could still be absorptive at certain wavelengths.

  It was almost comforting to find that millimeter-wave radar would penetrate it (as it was designed to do), although that particular device wasn’t used to find objects, so much as to take a look inside of them.

  Certainly, there were other ways to detect our new starship. An ion pulse drive emits a detectable signature, as well as the signals from any radar or other sensors, any of which could be picked up by another ship, provided they were looking. But, if you shut down most of that stuff, chances were damn good someone would never see you coming. I liked that. I liked it a lot.

  A quick tour, conducted by your Captain.

  From the ground up, the Revenge started with standard ion pulse drives, hydrogen ramjets for atmospheric flight, and what looked like the latest Dark Energy Drive, which, as Cozi forever liked to point out, wasn’t really a drive at all, just a collection of black boxes.

  Above that sat the Engineering Module, which included the usual facilities, such as the machine shop, and a nuclear reactor. Kyra and Cozi had added a number of enhancements to the module while we were on Babylonia, mostly to give it better security. The UPDF designers hadn’t counted on anyone having the cojones to board one of their ships; we were under no such illusion.

  Cisco and I had retrieved and reinstalled the reactor core, with the excuse that we needed it to power the ship until such time as I could blow it to smithereens.

  Once we’d moved into the new ship, Cozi had co-opted the mercs to help with the remaining repairs. Cisco griped privately to me that he’d have been a helluva lot more restrained with the explosives, if he’d known they were going to have to fix whatever they blew up. I told him to look at the bright side. If Cozi had been in charge at the time, they’d have never been allowed to blow anything up in the first place.

  Above Engineering sat our one Cargo Module, with four large bays. Lola estimated we could lift around eighty tons of cargo from a one gee gravity well. Not that it mattered; we weren’t in the cargo hauling business anymore, anyway.

  Next up was another big module, which I assumed was another cavernous cargo bay. Everyone else, aside from Cozi, who was about as familiar with ships as I was, knew what it was instantly; a shuttle landing bay. Half the torus was the hangar, and the other half was being used to hold fuel, and munitions. From the size of the bay, it would hold a fairly small shuttle, which were sometimes called landers. We couldn’t tell if the Revenge had ever had one aboard, but it wasn’t there when we took her, and none of her former crew or Captain were talking. Kyra guessed that it hadn’t spaced with one, and was probably supposed to pick one up in the future. Thanks to the generosity of Her Majesty Queen Deirdre, we had one now. Other than using it around New London, we hadn’t really had a chance to play with it.

  Keeping with the whole British theme, we'd christened the lander the Avalon. The craft was about forty feet long, with a beam of around twenty feet. About half the space of the wedge-shaped shuttle was devoted to hydrogen ramjets and fuel tanks, which left about enough room for a dozen passengers, and a change of clothes.

  Still, it could land most anywhere, and would lift from gravity wells of up to three gees, not that you’d want to be in such a place to begin with. Thus far, I’d primarily been using the lander as my personal hideout, for some much needed quiet time. I was discovering that aboard a starship, someone always wants something from the guy in charge.

  Located above the landing bay was a Science Module. I thought this was weird, since the Revenge was ostensibly a warship, and a new one, at that. Kyra pointed out that the UP did have a history of using whatever vessel might be handy at the time, to do a little exploration. Also, it wasn’t as if their shipbuilders had been on a budget. I couldn’t think of anyone, not even the big planetary governments, who had more money than the United Planets.

  One bonus of our surprise attack was that the crew apparently hadn’t had time to tamper with the module before they’d surrendered. The survey gear was all state-of-the-art, and the big telescope was even self-porting, so you d
idn’t have to screw around on the hull mounting and dismounting it.

  Both Eng and Angie were thrilled with the survey system’s database, since it was half again as large as what the Enigma had possessed. It seemed as though the UP had been doing a lot more poking around in our galaxy than anyone knew. There were more than a dozen star systems with habitable planets that none of us had ever heard of. For whatever reason, the UP wasn’t sharing the information.

  Atop the Science Module was the Habitat, and it was a nice one. There were four decks, arranged in the typical manner. The top deck held the common areas; a rec lounge, gymnasium, galley, and the MedLab, which was connected to the Medical Officer’s quarters. There was even a separate Officer’s Mess, which, so far, we hadn’t really used. Except for the mercs, pretty much everyone aboard was a ship’s officer, anyway.

  The two mid-decks were both crew quarters, with the upper berthing spacers, and the lower housing the UPDF troopers.

  One thing we realized soon after taking the Revenge was that we’d been exceptionally lucky with our timing. The frigate had, for some unknown reason, left port with what was basically a skeleton crew. There was room aboard for eight officers, twelve other crew, and forty space marines. Had the Montreal been fully staffed, they’d have handed us our asses.

  The trooper quarters were definitely purpose-built, with each cabin designed to house two soldiers, as well as all their gear. They could wake up, and be off their couches, suited up, and ready for action in a matter of minutes.

  The bottom deck of the Habitat Module held the ship’s armory, the main airlock, with adjacent suit locker, and of couple of staging areas apparently intended for use by the soldiers.

  Cozi and Lola had transferred all of our personal property and suits off of the Enigma, prior to abandoning her to her fate on the surface of Tzing Ma Chu. I was glad they’d taken the time; customized suits weren’t cheap, nor were they easy to find out in the boondocks, even if you had the money.

  Finally, sitting above it all was the Bridge Module, which was also far more elaborate than any I’d ever seen, though admittedly, that was a small number. It actually had two decks, connected by an access hole and a ladder. The lower deck held the Bridge proper, with five stations for crew.